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Review on David Glass ‘s Devised Theatre Workshop – please scroll down for English version

多年前在倫敦修讀戲劇治療時，看過大衛格拉斯（David Glass）的形體劇場演出，非常震撼；更被他在亞洲地區所做的Lost Child Projects吸引，興奮雀躍地報讀了他的工作坊，可惜最後卻取消了沒辦得成。直至近日知道甄詠蓓戲劇工作室邀請了大衛格拉斯來香港開辦編作劇場（Devised Theatre）工作坊，二話不說就報了名，熱切期待這段未了的緣份。

連續六天的工作坊，加上近期有些趕急的藝術推廣工作，體力上真有點透支。然而，身體縱然疲累，心靈卻不斷被滋養，每天總是期待著回到劇場裡，大衛讓我重新經歷在英國時的學習，也彷佛把我帶了回家。

很多時間他要我們去經歷「貼地」和「呼吸」，不斷提醒藝術工作者是人、是屬於大地的；這點也是我讀戲劇治療時，很重視的存活與同在（grounded/ presence/ Be with the clients at where they are）。

不要太勉強自己！
不要太認真，創意不在那裡！
尋找你的 élan！（法文élan，大概意思是「氣」「時刻」）
捉緊 holon！（捉緊［創作的］關聯性）

呼吸、拍手、凝望、拋球——極之簡單的形體活動，卻每每道出極不簡單的人生道理。 或許，讀書時也特別留意彼得布魯克（Peter Brook）和葛羅托夫斯基（Jerzy Grotowski）的劇場形式，我個人喜歡的，也是這種極簡的劇場風格。

這星期一直在想，五天學習的，都是零碎的劇場活動，到第六晚的成果展現，到底有什麼可以跟觀眾分享呢？正如大衛所說，一個好作品，預備過程遠遠超過真正創作時間，生活往往被花巧的事物所蒙蔽，回到細小和簡單，就看到創意和生命所在。結合四十多人的力量，有專業劇場工作者、社工、治療師、老師及青年人，由主題內容到表演形式，只用了三個多小時，即晚編作了一個45分鐘探討青少年自殺的演出，置身其中，除了陶醉在形體動作的美態中，更見証著劇場的威力，既感動又驚喜。

我對自己同樣感到驚訝。我從不認為自己是一個演員，雖然我參與過不少互動即興演出，也曾寫過短劇、策劃過好些戲劇項目，但我從來不會說自己是個演員，我真認為自己不會演戲。

這天晚上，我們小組負責編排開場的形體演繹，各人以自我身分步入舞台。緊隨而來第二部分，我要飾演其中一個尋找兒子的母親。舞動過後，我緩緩地坐在椅子上，真我要立時換上另一個角色。我便嘗試按照課堂所學，等候自己的élan時刻。我自然地低下頭，進入這位母親的沮喪，想像著想像著，一個14歲兒子的影像，就浮現在我眼前。抬頭那一刻，鼻子一酸，淚就流下來了，迷惘、恐懼、不安、哀傷全都湧上心頭，是那麼的真實，是那麼地絕望。我走到觀眾席，尋找自己的那個兒子：「你見到我的兒子嗎？他跟我很相像啊！」我知道那是多麼渺茫，即使沒有結果，卻仍心存一絲希望。

帶著那份痛，慢慢尋找情節的節奏，相信那就是Holon吧，按自己的步伐，慢慢回到椅子上，經歷自殺者的痛，轉而感受人如何經歷長久哀傷而選擇麻木地活著；緊接而來，是掛上一副荒誕式的笑臉，配合下一廣告環節「自殺好容易」，嘻笑怒駡地嘲諷生命的無奈。

我從沒有想過，我可以這樣經歴一個如此急速卻又完全真實的心理變化，當下來不及消化，只順應那份感覺演下去。演出完結時，我心裡還是良久不能自已。身邊人來觀賞成果展現後跟我說，「沒想過你真是一個演員。」

赫然發現，原來我一直指責那個喜愛劇場的自己，說她毫不出眾、沒資格留在劇場，甚至批評她不夠水準當個稱職的戲劇治療師。這幾天大衛不斷提醒我們，不要批判，任何人任何事都可以是有趣的，只要用心活好自己，每一瞬間都是夢幻時刻（Every single moment is a miracle）。就是這個夢幻時刻，把我對劇場的所有熱情和感受全召喚回來，如果按照大衛所說，「演員就是能夠暫時相信所演的正是事實」，我會說：我是一個演員。

真的，此刻還是很激動。

我相信萬事萬物，總是各按其時成就美好，這半年把自己公司Dream of Tomorrow 重新定位，不正是想鼓勵更多人去尋找他們自己的夢幻時刻嗎？一年多前，跟大學生們做過一個有關自殺的戲劇工作坊及錄像計劃，現在也正做著電影生命教育，迎接未來更多戲劇及藝術活動，不也是想跟人分享創意藝術如何可以帶來人生的不同可能嗎？過往零碎片斷都逐一整合起來，彷彿見到面前充滿挑戰又令人興奮的道路。

衷心感激Olivia把大衛格拉斯帶到香港來，也感謝大衛的字字珠璣，讓我有更大勇氣去構想未來，繼續向夢想進發。

Review on David Glass’s devised theatre workshop

I watched David Glass’s physical theatre performance many years ago when I studied Drama and Movement Therapy in London. His stunning body movement and his charm was very impressive. David’s “Lost Child” projects in Asia were very interesting too. I registered to join his theatre workshop in London but unfortunately it was finally cancelled. Until lately, when I knew that O Theatre Workshop has invited David to Hong Kong to lead a Devised Theatre workshop, I immediately enrolled for it and so much looked forward to being a theatre student again.

Although physically I was tired and troubled by some art promotion works, my soul has been nurtured in the past few days. I felt like going home.  David asked us to explore movement at the ground level and do breathing. He reminded us that we human beings are part of the nature. This is quite similar to what I studied in London, being a drama therapist, I have to be grounded with the clients, provide safe environment for them, accept every moment and be with them at where they are (presence). 

“Don’t try too hard!” 
“Don’t be too serious! Creativity is not there.” 
“Find your élan!”  
“Get the holon.”

Breathing, clapping, focusing and throwing balls – all are ordinary activities, but with extraordinary messages behind. When I was a therapy student, I loved reading theatrical thoughts of Peter Brook and Jerzy Grotowski, I was fantasied by their minimalist approaches about theatre. David’s teaching was quite similar to that approach. 

During the workshop, I kept wondering what we would perform at the final show since we practiced only simple exercises all the time. David advised that we were easily distracted by many unnecessariness in our lives, we should unveil our creativity from small and simple bits.

Collaborating with more than 40 talented people who were professional theatre workers, social workers, therapists, teachers and youngsters, a 45-minute theatre work was devised after three-hour discussion and practices. How amazing it was! Being one of the crew, I felt so touched and proud. It was absolutely awesome to witness the theatre power in their midst. 

I am surprised by myself. I have never found myself an actor, even though I have participated in many improvisational drama performances and I did organize some theatrical projects. I deemed myself not qualified to be an actor.

At the final show, I worked with others to curate the house opening scene with movement choreography. I walked with the whole crew onto the stage. Then I acted as a mother who was looking for her lost son.  I danced for a while and sat down on a chair at my own pace. Naturally I rolled down my body, pretended to be the frustrated mother and was waiting for my élan. At that moment, tiredness, sadness and fear came to me out of the blue. An imagined 14-year old boy sneaked in to my mind. Tears ran down my face and my nose. All feelings were so real.  I got closer to the audiences and asked, “have you seen my son?” I talked to the audiences how my son looked like and I could actually feel the desperateness and deep pain inside.

After that, I slowly went back to the chair, and empathised how a person could turn numb after experiencing prolonged distress.  By grasping the holon, the feeling was then swiftly sublimed to be sarcastic expression by participating in the absurd advertisement “Suicide is Easy” in the subsequent scene. 

The emotional changes were so authentic but came fast. I could not understand how it worked inside me . I just followed the flow of the  élan. My partner talked to me after watching the show, “You are an actor. I have never seen this side of you”. 

I suddenly realized that I have been condemning “myself” always, “You are not good enough, whoever you are and whatever you do. You are neither a good actor, nor a qualified drama therapist”.  In the past few days, David kept saying, “do not judge. Everything and everyone can be fun and interesting. Be yourself. Every single moment is a miracle. It is a magic.” It is so true. It was really a miracle. The workshop lifted me up.  David once said, “An actor can temporary believe what you are acting is a reality”.  If so, yes, I am an actor. 

I believe everything has its own time.  I have just re-launched my own company Dream of Tomorrow. One of the objectives is to encourage others to pursue their dreams and find their own magic moments. Isn’t it very beautiful when I first experienced it? I participated in a youth care project discussing about suicide a year ago. We are going to do more works on film life education, drama and art programmes. It seems everything is now weaved into a beautiful picture.

Thanks Olivia for organising this theatre workshop. It was great to be inspired by David’s teaching too. No exact wording can fully express my gratitude.  I feel like being empowered to devise my dreams ahead. 

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